Like Last Summer

Late July, last Summer
My shoes were going out of fashion
Living was easy, life was good for us
There was none of this -

Those hospital visits;
Crowded corridors, stale waiting rooms
Sleeping with the light
still on.

Summer turned to winter
And I stopped speaking to you
My mouth filled with empty, harmless words
Not quite lies, not quite truth
I couldn’t explain the nightmares.

I sat on benches
On crowded streets
Never feeling more alone,
never less complete.
The seasons carried on
and it seemed strangely unfair
I thought perhaps the world might
stop for us, for what we’d lost.

Still, life went on
Nothing changed,
Night still followed day
Life carried on making life
that cycle I could never be part of
That act I broke my heart over
That emptiness,
They just can’t understand.

Christmas, when I started
losing my hair
I lost all my faith
Still, I couldn’t tell you.

And now,
I no longer own my body
I didn’t ask for this
For this loss of control.

Those crowded corridors,
I walk them blindfolded now
Learning, at 21
That doctors don’t care
when they casually mention
those words.

Still a taboo -
as though it makes me less of a person.

I cut my hair
I told you, showed you
You didn’t seem surprised that I
was falling apart.

Late July, last Summer
We had no idea,

Last summer
…Before I went out of fashion.

(c) 2006.

About these ads

Send me love.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s