Twenty Three

If I could say these words aloud,
would you understand
that I’m still afraid?

Twenty-three,
feeling I’ve stepped back ten years.

If I could speak to myself,
thirteen, naive,
would I ever understand I would always be insecure?

So many words,
and I’m yet to find any answers.

If I could be with you now,
hold your face in my hands and bring it close to mine,
would you see my fear?

Losing this,
is something I can’t contemplate like you do.

If I could stop time for myself,
ten years from now, would I have moved on
from this behaviour?

Or would I still be here,
constantly moving backwards ten years?

(c) 2008.

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11 Comments

  1. I can relate to this. Insecurity is difficult to overcome. It never really goes away, but you can move past it, with effort, with love around you. Love for yourself, understanding why you exhibit the behaviors that you do. Counselling can help, but really, you need to look deep within yourself, and confront the demons that you are trying to expel. I’ve been there. Its possible. You can survive, and even thrive.

Send me love.

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