Like Last Summer

18 Dec

Late July, last Summer
My shoes were going out of fashion
Living was easy, life was good for us
There was none of this -

Those hospital visits;
Crowded corridors, stale waiting rooms
Sleeping with the light
still on.

Summer turned to winter
And I stopped speaking to you
My mouth filled with empty, harmless words
Not quite lies, not quite truth
I couldn’t explain the nightmares.

I sat on benches
On crowded streets
Never feeling more alone,
never less complete.
The seasons carried on
and it seemed strangely unfair
I thought perhaps the world might
stop for us, for what we’d lost.

Still, life went on
Nothing changed,
Night still followed day
Life carried on making life
that cycle I could never be part of
That act I broke my heart over
That emptiness,
They just can’t understand.

Christmas, when I started
losing my hair
I lost all my faith
Still, I couldn’t tell you.

And now,
I no longer own my body
I didn’t ask for this
For this loss of control.

Those crowded corridors,
I walk them blindfolded now
Learning, at 21
That doctors don’t care
when they casually mention
those words.

Still a taboo -
as though it makes me less of a person.

I cut my hair
I told you, showed you
You didn’t seem surprised that I
was falling apart.

Late July, last Summer
We had no idea,

Last summer
…Before I went out of fashion.

(c) 2006.


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Posted by on December 18, 2011 in Poetry


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36 responses to “Like Last Summer

  1. byhisgrace211

    December 18, 2011 at 11:37 pm

    Beautiful— you are from the inside out! God Bless You today ! :-)

  2. judithatwood

    December 19, 2011 at 12:44 am

    This is the saddest and loveliest poem I’ve ever heard — your gift is amazing, and I treasure you for sharing it in my life.

  3. meanderlight

    December 19, 2011 at 2:50 am

    Beautifully dark

  4. Kellie Elmore

    December 19, 2011 at 4:04 am

    love the nostalgia! beautiful pen! the fourth stanza is my fave, your imagery is awesome!

  5. Aurora, HSP

    December 19, 2011 at 4:37 am

    Bittersweet beauty poem, you do such good work :) Big hugs.

  6. Mr.memo

    December 19, 2011 at 6:11 am

    nice writing buddy, i enjoy reading your blog..

  7. lexiconlover

    December 19, 2011 at 7:52 am

    your words both haunt me and move me, for they remind me of me……so very much~

  8. Kay Salady

    December 19, 2011 at 10:10 am

    Tremendous writing

  9. charlesmashburn

    December 19, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    This is a fabulous write! The emotions in it draw the reader in. Excellent!

  10. Becky

    December 19, 2011 at 2:13 pm

    This is hauntingly beautiful. I’m absorbing it still… very powerful. Well done expression my friend.

  11. विमल

    December 19, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    the picture is apt

  12. missredefine

    December 19, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    Lovely. Simply lovely.

  13. tigerbrite

    December 19, 2011 at 6:17 pm

    So sad. Beautifully done.

  14. ladymccutcheon

    December 20, 2011 at 12:02 am

    Beautifully written, thank you for writing this. My family is going through a similar situation right now and it’s not easy. I always also think “Living was easy, life was good for us”

  15. ryoko861

    December 20, 2011 at 12:46 am

    That says so much from deep within. Bittersweet.

  16. ~L

    December 21, 2011 at 2:24 am

    lovely and love love the picture at the end!

  17. ~L

    December 21, 2011 at 11:08 am

    “corridors” …. My favorite word.

    What a sad poem…. A heart-felt piece that shows great passion and emotion…. It’s beautiful!

  18. Anna Gramme (@hypercryptical)

    December 22, 2011 at 10:07 am

    Sad yet beautiful. Thank you.

    Anna :o]

  19. onesurvivor

    December 28, 2011 at 11:27 pm

    Very poignant.

  20. strawberryjamntoast

    December 29, 2011 at 7:42 am

    What a tender poem, I will be haunted by it in the days to come. Looking forward to reading more of them.


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