I went a bit crazy yesterday and decided that I would spend the entire day rearranging my bedroom and cleaning under the furniture – from the sublime to the ridiculous, you may say – and you know what? I did it. After hours of swearing, sweating, broken nails, too many smoke breaks and two whole films along with most of my Youtube playlist, I got it finished eventually, and I have to say I’m quite proud. It looks good. I’ve put my bed under the window against the radiator (tried turning it off since I overheat like a pig in a sauna, but couldn’t turn the knob) and moved my desk next to the bed, so I can reach my lamp more easily and also sit on my office chair with my legs up, rather than having to lie on the bed if I want to be comfortable. The telly’s been moved to the foot of my bed so I don’t have to sit in a ridiculous position to watch it, and I cleaned as much of the room as I could manage before collapsing. I still need to sort out my clothes and fold them neatly in drawers rather than have them strewn around the house like a gigantic floordrobe, but I’ll have to do that another day; I’m knackered now. In a good way.
On Tuesday I went for a walk, along the embankment beside the water-treatment plant. The sun was just beginning to set and the mashes were peaceful. I smoked a joint and watched some ducks paddle around in a marshy puddle. For all the faults living in a seaside town has (I have a mortal fear of tourists), we do get amazing sunsets – even the weak ones are impressive – and living a minute away from a nature reserve is perfect. I briefly volunteered for the RSBP on the reserve, but only went twice before copping out; it just wasn’t for me. I’ll miss it here when I leave; it’s always been my private place.
Went to the garage to buy tobacco, and coped pretty well. In all, I was outside on my own for around 40 minutes, and walked along two main roads. That’s more than I’ve done in months, and it’s only now I realise that I’ve missed it terribly. Considering I’m so fearful of the outdoors, I like being out of the house as much as possible. Typical.
I’m going to Liverpool with Z tomorrow.
judithatwood
January 18, 2012 at 9:04 pm
I’m so proud of you, and so happy for you! Another step along the path of remission. I hope you and Z have a good day tomorrow. Remember, though, if you don’t it’ll be because 40 minutes outside on your own — I am so proud of you!!! — is a big jump to going to the city for the day. Do be gentle with yourself. What a blessing you are to everyone who reads you, especially those beaten down, as you were. Feels really good to read along with your changes. Thanks for being so honest about the whole thing!
halfwaybetweenthegutter
January 19, 2012 at 8:59 pm
Honesty is my thing, right? *wink*
Thank you, Judith. I really do appreciate the encouragement.
faithhopechocolate
January 18, 2012 at 10:13 pm
I have never heard the term floordrobe, but it’s pretty awesome!
I’m mightily impressed on the cleaning and re-arranging. (I don’t suppose you want to come to Cheshire and help me sort my flat, do you?
) There’s a lot to be said for making life easier, and more comfortable.
halfwaybetweenthegutter
January 19, 2012 at 8:56 pm
Ha, it took me all day to sort out one room, I doubt I’d manage a whole flat
Although, if you make me a cup of tea, I’d perhaps throw a duster into the corner or something. My brother lives in Cheshire, it’s a nice place.
fracturedangel
January 18, 2012 at 10:34 pm
Are those your Scrabble pillows? I love them! Congrats on the rearrangements!
halfwaybetweenthegutter
January 19, 2012 at 8:53 pm
Ah sadly they’re not mine. I’d love them though.
everydayclimb
January 18, 2012 at 11:35 pm
Love it! Floordrobe? Cute!
halfwaybetweenthegutter
January 19, 2012 at 8:53 pm
alexae67
January 19, 2012 at 7:26 am
I’m so happy to hear the progress you’re making. It always feels great to set your mind to a task and then getting it done. I definitely need to do that – my apartment definitely needs a good cleaning.
It sounds like you are taking these steps at a pace that is comfortable for you, and that’s great. Take each day as they come – it will feel so much more manageable.
Best of luck!
xxox
halfwaybetweenthegutter
January 19, 2012 at 8:51 pm
I’m trying to take it at a sensible pace. I suppose I’m worried I’ll overdo it, and end up crashing somewhere down the line, but I also know that if I don’t use it at some point, I’m probably going to lose it.
Thanks, Alexae. Get your apartment sorted
thebirdieflies
January 19, 2012 at 11:09 am
Floordrobe! Hahaha! Mine’s a bedrobe
I’m so glad you’re going out nowadays
Have fun in Liverpool.
halfwaybetweenthegutter
January 19, 2012 at 8:50 pm
Cheers! <3
ryoko861
January 19, 2012 at 9:42 pm
Keep going out! Love your making progress and changes! Change is good. Gives new prospective on things! Like a new start!
“Floordrobe” is priceless!!