Painfully Breaking

22 Jan

Talking to myself,
the last retreat of the crazy.

Drowning out the sound,
the voice of my heart breaking.

The aching,
I can’t explain
where life has led me,
why everything
is so far away.

My mouth can only speak to myself.

I scream
in silence.

(c) 2008.

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Posted by on January 22, 2012 in Poetry


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37 responses to “Painfully Breaking

  1. swabby429

    January 22, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    Face it full on. Then breathe deeply. Then smile at your courage. Then let go of your attachment. Be your own best friend. Spread the love. Peace.

    • halfwaybetweenthegutter

      January 22, 2012 at 9:50 pm

      I’d love to be my own best friend. I’m not convinced it would ever, happen though. Thanks for reading, swabby.

  2. raburcke

    January 22, 2012 at 9:40 pm

    Why in silence? Shout it out!

    • halfwaybetweenthegutter

      January 22, 2012 at 9:50 pm

      Heh. Sometimes… it’s the only way I can shout. I lost my voice, for a while.

  3. charlesmashburn

    January 22, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    A good and passionate write. I like it!

  4. judithatwood

    January 22, 2012 at 10:11 pm

    Now that you like your life, even a little, I’d bet you have some perspective about this beautiful poem. Even our despair inspires beauty.

  5. bloohmoon

    January 22, 2012 at 10:51 pm

    In silence is betta so you don’t scare the hell outta everyone. I try not to scream or cry. The crying they can’t hear, nor the silent screaming. Nobody knows but me. Easier that way.

    • halfwaybetweenthegutter

      January 23, 2012 at 2:53 am

      It’s easier in the short term, but after a while… things build up. And when they blow up, they destroy a lot.

  6. zongrik

    January 22, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    sometimes we have to scream in silence

    primed to dance

  7. reallymustiwtf

    January 22, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    Have you ever read The Four Agreements- Don Miguel.Ruiz., it’s based on Toltec wisdom
    If everyone lived by this book (it’s not that big) vice some of the other books the world would be a much better place. Him and Eckhart tolle are good reads when the mind needs some quieting.

    here’s a link to description and they list the 4 agreements below but the book is worth the read.

  8. reallymustiwtf

    January 22, 2012 at 11:13 pm

    When you feel like you need to talk there is nothing wrong with walls. Besides they don’t talk back.

    • halfwaybetweenthegutter

      January 23, 2012 at 2:36 am

      I always feel uncomfortable talking to walls. I always thought it was going to the point I finally cracked.

  9. Timoteo

    January 22, 2012 at 11:36 pm

    It seems there are many more people talking to themselves now– in supermarket aisles and everywhere…you think they might be disturbed, until you see the Bluetooth thing in their ear.
    (Doesn’t mean they’re not disturbed, though.)

    So don’t feel out of place,,,no one will notice!

    • halfwaybetweenthegutter

      January 23, 2012 at 2:34 am

      Oh, Bluetooth always confuses me; I never know if someone’s talking on the phone or to themselves. I often see people walking down the street singing to themselves as well. I live in an odd town.

  10. booguloo

    January 23, 2012 at 12:04 am

    Maybe you need to hear what you have to say this time.

  11. Taylor

    January 23, 2012 at 12:05 am

    sad, powerful expressions.

  12. everydayclimb

    January 23, 2012 at 4:06 am

    I agree with raburcle. Shout it out, bay bay!

  13. iamnotshe

    January 23, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    Lots of people want to hear what you have to say. Screaming wanted ;-)

  14. Elyas Mulu Kiros

    January 23, 2012 at 3:54 pm

    Short and powerful piece! Love it!!

  15. Trisha

    January 23, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    This piece describes how I feel sometimes. It’s weird how pain and brain fog can make everyone else seem so far away.

    • halfwaybetweenthegutter

      January 23, 2012 at 7:29 pm

      *hug* Thanks for reading, Trisha. It really does make you feel like you’re behind a wall sometimes.

  16. ~L

    January 23, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    your words are profound!!!! I wrote about something like this… yet you seemed to say it all with half the words! I must admit I wish I could do that…. I think I ramble to long! I really like this…

    Your blog feels like home to me… a place where I can read and read… and not feel so alone…

    (here is the post I wrote some time ago …

  17. Jenzy

    January 24, 2012 at 5:01 am

    Hugs to you girl x

  18. mairmusic

    January 25, 2012 at 12:35 am

    i like the partial rhymes in this at the start– holds it together.

  19. Becky

    January 25, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    Oh wow! This is so sad and scary and lonely and full of want.
    Love it, truly.

  20. LoLa

    January 26, 2012 at 4:41 am

    so sad…

  21. Kellie Elmore

    January 26, 2012 at 8:02 pm

    man oh man have I been there before! Screaming in silence, smiling outwardly, faking happiness when inside I am near dying! NICELY done!!!! bravo!!!

    my latest

  22. Emilino Emloile

    January 29, 2012 at 8:39 am

    Love it…
    Scary enough without the picture, though— O_O

    Don’t let it beat you. Don’t let it beat you.


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