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Dream on, ’cause it’s got no meaning

28 Mar

 

For the first time in my life, I dreamed my teeth were falling out.

According to Freud, dreaming such things is a symbol for  “castration as a punishment for masturbating (castration’s complex)”,

DreamMoods says that “Another rationalization for these falling teeth dreams may be rooted in your fear of being embarrassed or making a fool of yourself in some situation. These dreams are an over-exaggeration of your worries and anxieties. Perhaps you feel that you are unprepared for the task at hand. However, you will find that your worries are unfounded in most cases. Sometimes what plays out in your mind is far worse than what is reality” read more

To be honest, I don’t believe in dream symbolism, preferring to see dreaming as a natural response by the brain to the thought process. Still, I do like to consider what my dreams might be saying. I won’t go into them, because there’s nothing more boring than reading about someone else’s dreams, but it just interested me that it’s taken me this long to have the tooth falling out one. It was creepy.

It doesn’t really help that my teeth are in a pretty poor state anyway, after years of bulimia and avoiding the dentist. I noticed a few weeks back that I’m starting to get some hefty dark stains near the gum line, which no amount of scrubbing or picking will remove. I can only assume it’s decay. Smoking like a chimney and drinking red wine doesn’t help either. I can drink ten cups of strong coffee a day without noticing. Really, I’m amazed I still have teeth. Oh, there’s a lot of pain – I can’t eat sweet things anymore without major toothache – but I’m loathe to face the dentist. I don’t even know if I still have an NHS one; I missed my last appointment for X-Rays.

It’s the cost. I know I need quite a lot of work done, and it’s not an amount of money I tend to have to hand. Especially if I’ve lost my position at the clinic and need to go private.

I sat in the garden earlier, talking to my mother. Broached the subject of S and I getting a flat, and she started her usual panic/worry rant that if I move out, I’ll lose my benefits. I don’t know what I can do to ever get her to change that view; she’s adamant that I’m destroying my future by wanting to move out, and what can I say to that?

Yes, there’s a risk that I may lose the high care component, but I can contest it. Just because my mother isn’t going to be my carer anymore, doesn’t mean someone else can’t, or that I’m not crazy anymore. I’ll still be unable to work and be disabled no matter where I live. Having my own place with S will just make life that bit more bearable. I wish she could see that.

 

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17 Comments

Posted by on March 28, 2012 in Every day life

 

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17 responses to “Dream on, ’cause it’s got no meaning

  1. judithatwood

    March 28, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    Love from across the pond! Your mom may need to see you actually living with S and thriving some, before she’ll understand. Make sure you jump through all the social services hoops, and have S. declared your guardian, or what you guys call it over there, and you should not have to worry about benefits, I would think. Have a terrific day! 8-)

     
    • halfwaybetweenthegutter

      March 28, 2012 at 5:03 pm

      The thing is, I’ve lived away from home before and always survived. I’d be in the same small town, so it’s not like she can’t see me for weeks on end. She just… refuses to let go of me. I wish I understood why.

      S can’t be declared my carer, which is a pain. Because of his past debts, he can’t risk his name going down on government forms too often. He’s never paid the debts back, and it’d cause a whole new load of trouble if he claimed support for me. I don’t see a problem though; I’m on medication daily, I need to see a doctor regularly, and living away from home won’t change any of that. The setting just changes.

       
  2. Victoria Oldham

    March 28, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    Maybe mum is not just worried for you–if you move out and she’s no longer your carer, where does that leave her? If being your carer has become a sort of identity for her, then the kind of change you want will be really scary.

    I have tooth-falling-out dreams all the time, and I always feel slightly disturbed for a while after–sometimes they’re so real I check my teeth to make sure they’re still there… lol.

     
    • halfwaybetweenthegutter

      March 28, 2012 at 5:00 pm

      I do think she fears the change; although, at 27, she has to let me go sometime. Half the time, I feel like I’m caring for her, and that’s not helping me get on in life. *sigh* It’s difficult.

      Yeah, I was checking my teeth!

       
  3. The Quiet Borderline

    March 28, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    Yuck. For me, my teeth falling out in dreams is one of the worst things! I dream that they are crumbling away. I once looked up the meaning for this dream and it said it’s to do with your concerns over the relationship with your mother. So hey, maybe that fits in here.

    But there are so many explanations and interpretations, it could virtually mean anything!

    Wishing you well,

    The Quiet Borderline
    http://quietbpd.wordpress,com/

     
    • halfwaybetweenthegutter

      March 28, 2012 at 4:55 pm

      Heh, well… if there’s any truth to dream interpretation, they may be on to something ;)

      I do have a lot of dreams relating to confidence – being naked in public, open doors on showers, needing the toilet in public – but I’ve never been able to allow myself to believe there’s any meaning in it all, other than I think about my insecurities a lot and they naturally end up in my dreams!

       
  4. strugglingwithbipolar

    March 28, 2012 at 4:44 pm

    Wow! I cannot believe that you had to deal with those types of comments from S. I am certain that moving out does NOT make you less disabled. Best of luck to you!

    Kat

     
    • halfwaybetweenthegutter

      March 28, 2012 at 4:53 pm

      Sorry, I think I worded that badly… my mother seems to think that if I move out, I won’t be eligable for benefits anymore; which is ridiculous. I think she just doesn’t want to let me go.

       
  5. everydayclimb

    March 28, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    I too have had the dreaded “teeth” dreams. I think mine were due to feeling out of control of my life (or anyone else’s). I hate those dreams. I feel mortified & helpless.

     
    • halfwaybetweenthegutter

      March 28, 2012 at 4:52 pm

      I seem to be a rare case for not having a tooth dream sooner. I wasn’t mortified, more… I don’t know, I felt guilty that I’d caused it. I kept pulling at them, even though I knew they’d fall out. I think I choked on a few.

       
  6. Bluesander

    March 28, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    Moving out seems like a lovely idea, I hope your mother will be a little more understanding about your relationship with S. Good luck!
    And a conversation about dreaming always seems to draw me in. It’s astonishing how far dreams can take you, how much they can mean. I’ve never had my teeth fall out in a dream…sounds quite scary but I wish you best of luck in clearing away some of the anxiety in your life.

     
  7. faithhopechocolate

    March 28, 2012 at 7:33 pm

    Families. Much sympathy.

    Dreams are just weird. I’ve been known to dream about the crap I’ve watched on telly, so I don’t reckon it actually means anything, although I agree it is quite interesting to see what bollocks people think your dreams mean.

     
  8. mrscmonkey

    March 28, 2012 at 11:31 pm

    Try giving the dentist a call and see if you’re still on the books, if not ask if they know of any local NHS practices. It is scary but the longer you leave it the more work will need doing – sure I don’t need to tell you that though.
    Moving out and benefits – anyone can be your carer as I understand. I get DLA, live with husband and get middle rate care. Anyway, we are all going to be reassessed in the not so distant future with the changes from DLA to PIP and have to prove what our needs are so there’s no certainty we’ll receive the same. Be ready to fight your case if necessary xxx

     
  9. Barefoot Baroness

    March 28, 2012 at 11:48 pm

    Oh Girlfriend I had this same dream, repeatidily. I am blown away liteally that someone else is dreaming this too. My dental health was severe and I know my fear did not help. But Really? I did have teeth that came out, a few at different times singily. I have a bone disease which is what started the whole implant mess and the tooth’s roots no longer had anything to hold onto in laymens terms.

    OMGish I am experiencing goosebumps as I write.

    The dreams went away, never to insult my sleep again post oral and medical surgery and removal of what teeth were left. Full dentures at 45 was a hard pill to swallow at first, but what I was told would only be cosmetic has turned out to be that I can eat anything I want. That was the pleasant outcome of losing all my teeth.

    I just wanted to share because both of us dreaming something like this is weird in a cool way.

     
  10. lexiconlover

    March 29, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    I had a dream that I had some sort of leprosy/ lesion on the top of my head. Sort of like hoof and mouth disease but on my head.

    It was creepy. I used to interpret my dreams did all that Gestalt stuff in my 20′s. Gave that up.
    My shrink is busy now with staving off my reality. lol

    My wish for you is that you get that flat with S and that things feel more bearable~ :–)

     
  11. ryoko861

    March 29, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    She cares deeply for you. She’s seen what you’ve gone through and as a mother fears for your health and safety. It’s natural. But you do what you have to do! All our lives we struggle for happiness. For some it comes easy. For others, it’s a bit harder. I believe you’ll survive. If you got a part time job, would that screw up your benefits?

    Yeah, dentists suck. They’re a necessary evil. Keep in mind all the meds you’ve taken may also be affecting your teeth. My friend had a serious back injury and was on SO many meds her teeth just started falling out. She eventually just had the remaining ones taken out and now has dentures. Not that I think you’ll go as extreme, but you do need to take care of them. If anything, KEEP BRUSHING! Of course if something is extremely painful, seek help! It could lead to more painful issues!

    I’ve never had a dream about my teeth falling out. I have nonsense dreams. But occasionally I’ll have a reoccuring dream about flooding waters and very loud thunder and wind. I believe it has something to do with fighting with a partner or something. I don’t recall. I just let it go now whenever I get one. I sometimes wonder if it has something to do with something I ate the night before! :)

     

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