1:25am, and I’m worrying.
In the morning I’ll be meeting Dr B, the consultant rheumatologist who diagnosed me with fibromyalgia in 2006. I haven’t seen him since the diagnosis – choosing to forgo the usual treatments – and to say I’m nervous would be an understatement. Dr B is a very straightforward man; brilliant at his job, but he takes no prisoners and rarely smiles, and the last time I was in his company, he poked and prodded me until I cried. It’s not an appealing prospect.
I’m wondering if I’ll have any sort of clue as to my future after tomorrow, or whether I’ll just be referred to yet another department. I’m glad neurology found nothing wrong, but I’m tired of seeing different doctors and repeating my symptoms for the hundredth time.
Even with medication, I’m stressing. I have a habit of being on my best behaviour in front of doctors; and that means not showing any pain or distress. I play my symptoms down, not wanting to make a fuss. I’m fully aware of it and I know it’s part of the reason why nobody can quite work out what’s going on with me, but seem unable to admit to any sort of weakness; physical or emotional.
- I’m Angry! (healthmad.com)
- I think I might be becoming a Hypochondriac………. (dreamsonpapyrus.wordpress.com)