I Hold The Stars

Stars refuse to shine tonight,
my sky is darker than ever before,
Summer slips effortlessly into Autumn,
as I keep vigil at the window once more.

I’ve written these words a thousand times,
felt these emotions more than I’d care,
I’ve walked this room and talked to these walls,
every night since you stopped being there.

You may think it strange, you may say you’re around,
but that means so little when you’re miles away.
when feelings run cold and nights last forever,
and I attempt coping in my own way.

You smiled today, you looked into my eyes,
and I considered perhaps it may not all be lost,
with your fingers inside me and kisses so warm,
but I now freeze, as the night turns to frost.

Empty streets with nobody around,
an empty room which still holds your vibrations,
afraid to move pillows which still smell of you,
… afraid to remember our last conversations.

Am I losing you, is this all I was,
someone to let go of when it suited?
My body aches and I don’t want to think,
that I must have loved, more than you ever did.

If you could see me tonight, would it change your mind?
If I broke down in front of you, would you ever see?
If I tore myself open in a less private way,
would you ever remember why you once loved me?

I hold the stars, they’re all I have,
words don’t mean half of what I believed,
I stand at the window, replaying what you said,
and I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to believe.

I always loved you more than the stars,
and I always needed you more than you’ll know,
I always felt more for you, than you felt for me,
and tonight, for the first time, I believe it shows.

(C) 2008

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