Woke at 5.30am, reeking of fake tan and feeling wide-awake. A few hours later, I’m sitting up in bed, half-watching the first season of ER and trying to pick dried wax out of my eyebrows and off my face. S is taking me for a meal tonight at our favourite Indian restaurant, so I’m trying to remove all ten tonnes of body hair before he sees me; having polycystic ovaries is a nightmare sometimes. I’ve been managing the symptoms quite well for the past few years – losing five dress sizes almost overnight in hospital helped – but it’s slowly getting worse again.
My diet is failing miserably. I lost 6lbs, then started binging again. Not badly; just enough to halt any progress in its tracks. I’ve been avoiding the Slim-Fast tins in favour of bowls of cereal and toast, convincing myself I’ll get back on track tomorrow.
It’s never tomorrow. I’d do well to remember that.
After the stress of yesterday, I slept like a baby last night. Drifted off around 9pm and slept right through. I’m not even sure I can remember dreaming – which is incredibly rare – and when I woke, I didn’t feel the usual urge to snuggle under the covers and put off beginning the day. Rolled a joint, made a coffee, checked my emails and played some Boggle, all before 7am. Considering I’d been getting up around 3 in the afternoon and going to bed when the sun rose… I think I’m doing well. There’s no doubt it has to be down to the Lyrica; nothing else has changed.
When we bumped into S yesterday, my mother chatted to him about how Lyrica’s worked for me:
“It’s a miracle, isn’t it?”
S gave me a hug and looked me up and down:
“It’s great, it’s fantastic seeing her so bouncy and happy again”
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Zillah Zane
May 30, 2012 at 1:03 pm
Lyrica is a G-D send sometimes! Hope you keep feelin better~!
halfwaybetweenthegutter
May 31, 2012 at 8:05 pm
It is, isn’t it? Thanks Zillah
DisplacedHousewife
May 30, 2012 at 1:20 pm
Its bad enough Ive ended up hairy,did I have to be fat aswell? I hate what pcos has done to my body and am fighting it every step of the way…
halfwaybetweenthegutter
May 31, 2012 at 8:06 pm
I know, it’s like PCOS gives you the most horrible symptoms possible! It’s a cruel illness, especially when it comes to body image. Keep fighting it <3
stuff I said
May 30, 2012 at 1:25 pm
I really appreciate the honesty in your posts. I hope you continue to feel better!
halfwaybetweenthegutter
May 31, 2012 at 8:06 pm
Thank you
...But She's Crazy
May 30, 2012 at 2:20 pm
Yay for meds that actually work! It’s like playing darts with your brain and one finally hits the bullseye — woo-hoo. Good luck with your weight loss. I’m going through the same thing right now, trying to lose, but getting tackled by cravings and bad eating habits. You’ll get back on track. Just keep at it! Take care!
halfwaybetweenthegutter
May 31, 2012 at 8:35 pm
“It’s like playing darts with your brain and one finally hits the bullseye — woo-hoo”
That’s exactly what it’s like! Brilliant description. Good luck with losing weight and avoiding the cravings; I just can’t work out how to beat them
And thank you <3
The Dark Side of Chaos
May 30, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Finding the right med/mix can be a beast. I’m glad you’re finding something that works for you.
It took enough pills to make me rattle when I walk to get stable.
Keep your chin up and looking forward. =D
halfwaybetweenthegutter
May 31, 2012 at 8:37 pm
Thanks
It’s taken years to find the right pain meds; took well over a decade to find the right psych meds, so hopefully this will finally be the right combination.
We should start a rattling club. I could be a pharmacy!
Trinity River
May 30, 2012 at 2:40 pm
Hang in there, honey bunny. When I hit menopause I grew a beard almost overnight. Being a woman is challenging.
halfwaybetweenthegutter
May 31, 2012 at 8:33 pm
I now understand why I wanted to be a boy when I grew up!
PCOS is very similar to the menopause in symptoms, so I have much sympathy for women going through it. I do feel a bit annoyed that I have to put up with it all my life though; cheers, hormones!
SummerSolsticeGirl
May 30, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Was very sorry to read about the challenging day you had the day before yesterday. Hope you are feeling better today
halfwaybetweenthegutter
May 31, 2012 at 8:30 pm
Thank you much dear; I did have a better day <3
SummerSolsticeGirl
May 31, 2012 at 8:33 pm
awesome! hugs
elliebloo
May 30, 2012 at 4:44 pm
one day at a time my friend. Be well.
verbalbanter
May 31, 2012 at 5:42 pm
I second that
elliebloo
May 31, 2012 at 7:25 pm
halfwaybetweenthegutter
May 31, 2012 at 8:29 pm
And I third it! Thank you elliebloo and verbalbanter <3
elliebloo
May 31, 2012 at 8:34 pm
Very welcome!
halfwaybetweenthegutter
May 31, 2012 at 8:37 pm
You guys are all so lovely
elliebloo
May 31, 2012 at 8:39 pm
Awww thank you
faithhopechocolate
May 30, 2012 at 8:07 pm
Never mind the “or something”, S totally is your guardian angel. Glad to hear you’re doing better today, and much sympathy for the hair removal issues.
halfwaybetweenthegutter
May 31, 2012 at 7:56 pm
Haha! I think if therre are guardian angels out there, S has to be one of them for sure. Thanks; one day at a time, as they say.
Hair removal has to be one of the worst aspects of being human. I’m quite lucky in that I’m very fair-haired, but when a rug covers your whole body… luck doesn’t seem to be a word associated with the whole situation :/
YAPCaB
May 30, 2012 at 9:56 pm
It’s so wonderful when you get the right drug mix. Life just opens up again. Congrats!
halfwaybetweenthegutter
May 31, 2012 at 7:52 pm
It is indeed
Thanks!
Miranda Gargasz
May 30, 2012 at 10:14 pm
I only got my diagnosis a year ago, after 27 years of trying to convince someone that something just wasn’t right. Here’s to kicking PCOS’s ass!
halfwaybetweenthegutter
May 31, 2012 at 7:52 pm
27 years?! That must have beenn awful. I was lucky and got diagnosed in my early teens, although I had to beg for the scan; the specialist didn’t want to know.
Miranda Gargasz
June 1, 2012 at 1:09 am
It was awful. I can’t believe you had to beg! That’s terrible!