I’ve been trying to avoid it for three days, but I’m planning on taking two tramacet and going to bed. At Z’s barbecue she gave me a couple of pills; I was only joking when I hinted for some but I wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to space out in a lovely chemical calm. Tramadol and I… we have a history. I was addicted. Just like the codeine.
I took some codeine a few days ago. 5 pills, then 5 more the night after. I haven’t touched it for a while, but the urge to blanket my fears with opiates was too strong.
I’ve been tired all day. Tired, sore and anxious. Panicking over nothing and trying to avoid food. Counting calories. Wasting time until I can sleep.
I’m not sad. Just so tired. So filled with thoughts. I want to rest for a while.
It’s not a relapse if you only do it once, right?