Burned all my bridges,
still I swim by moonlight
and empty my heart to the stars.
Swimming alone through dark water,
naked but for the chains around my body,
I fear the silence -
I fear the darkness
as I float alone, all alone
quietly drowning.
Posted for http://dversepoets.com/
buckwheatsrisk
August 15, 2012 at 1:36 am
so sad, are you doing okay?
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:43 am
Eh, so-so. Better than I was, certainly. The poetry prompt was ‘bathing’, and it’s what came out.
buckwheatsrisk
August 16, 2012 at 2:56 am
well i’m glad better, i hope so so gets better! xo
stuff I said
August 15, 2012 at 1:40 am
I am sure I have swam in these water myself a few times. A sad yet beautiful poem. Sending hugs your way. xx
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:45 am
And hugs right back your way, luv. Thank you very much for calling it ‘beautiful’ – that’s a huge compliment. I suspect quite a few readers will understand this one.
Mary
August 15, 2012 at 2:03 am
It really is not good to spend time in the water alone! Very sad poem, but I understand the sentiment.
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:45 am
Thank you very much for reading, Mary. You’re right… spending time in the water alone is never a good idea. Okay for a short while, but it’s easy to be overcome by the waves.
bipolarmuse
August 15, 2012 at 2:07 am
Dark… and a stunning play of words. Wonderful. ♥
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:46 am
Oh, thank you very much!
ryoko861
August 15, 2012 at 2:24 am
I feel like that sometimes! Ya can’t look back. Just have to find a way to “break out of the chains”.
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:47 am
I find looking back to be incredibly easy. You’re right of course – you always are! – but it’s so hard to throw those chains off. Some have been with me since childhood.
ryoko861
August 16, 2012 at 2:59 am
I get SO disgusted with myself when I look back at my past. I sometime wonder how I’m still alive and how I managed to even support myself. I have many regrets, but I have to let them go and move on. Nothing I can do about them except learn from those mistakes. I’m still trying to throw those chains off on some events. I may never be free psychologically from what I’ve done. Can’t beat myself up over it.
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 3:04 am
I don’t know if they’re regrets as such. More memories I’d rather not think of, things I don’t want to consider or am ashamed of. I think you’ve done marvelously at learning and freeing yourself, and you should be proud. I am
ryoko861
August 16, 2012 at 3:59 am
Aww, thanks! I learn from others like you. My bloggy friends give me insight into myself. And I realize that I’m not the only one that did fucked up things. I just wish I was smarter and wouldn’t be in the issues I’m in now.
Heaven (@asweetlust)
August 15, 2012 at 2:25 am
Chilling take on quietly drowning ~ Thanks for your visit and comment in my blog ~
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:47 am
Thank you, and thanks much for commenting back!
ManicDdaily
August 15, 2012 at 2:52 am
You know, each of these stanzas could work very well as their own poem – they could each stand alone. Very strong. Take care! k.
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:48 am
You’re right; I didn’t think of that at all when writing it, but yeah. Thanks very much k, take care of yourself too.
Christopher Reilley (@Reilley)
August 15, 2012 at 2:54 am
I liked this very much, the first stanza speaks to me of those feelings of the night after you break up, the yielding unraveling, the second, to me at least, feels of a terrifying release. Brava.
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:49 am
Although it wasn’t written with a break up in mind, but reading it back after seeing your comment… I can see how it could be taken that way. Interesting take on it, thank you!
Colleen@LooseLeafNotes
August 15, 2012 at 3:06 am
I like “empty my heart to the stars.”
Here is the link to my poem, which is also about being immersed in water. http://www.looseleafnotes.com/wp/2012/08/the-bubble-bath/
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:49 am
Thanks for the read Colleen. I’ve commented on your poem, which was wonderful.
brian miller
August 15, 2012 at 3:13 am
shivers…while i love swimming under the stars it can def be intimidating when you can not see…and to have chains around you constricting your movements…the drowning ugh…felt…
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:50 am
Honestly? I’ve never actually swum under the stars, unless you could in an indoor pool with a see-through roof. I can only imagine how strange it would feel to be floating blind. Thanks very much for the read Brian.
Mama Zen
August 15, 2012 at 3:39 am
Chilling piece!
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:51 am
It seems so, judging by the comments; I hadn’t seen it that way until now. Thanks very much for taking the time to read Mama Zen.
judithatwood
August 15, 2012 at 4:04 am
Hi, kiddo — I’m sorry you must have been feeling so sad when you wrote this. I hope your mood is a little elevated, knowing I am sending tons of love from a beautiful Maine evening! Take care, ok?
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:52 am
I will, thank you Judith. I’m just a little strung out by my mother and the whole living at home situation. Been thinking about the past a lot, that sort of stuff. I’m okay, just tired and thinking too much.
Write Girl
August 15, 2012 at 4:08 am
Dark, haunting, and beautifully written.
poemblaze
August 15, 2012 at 4:20 am
Beautiful writing in here. I think the first stanza is perfect and could stand alone!
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:52 am
Thank you very much poemblaze, I really appreciate it!
Samuel Peralta / Semaphore
August 15, 2012 at 4:30 am
A provocative poem as it stood, and then when you hit me with that image of Ophelia, the verse took on so many more meanings!
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:53 am
Exactly! Ophelia has always been one of my favourite images; it may seem morbid to some but I find it absolutely beautiful. I think we’ve all drowned at some point or another.
susieq777
August 15, 2012 at 5:11 am
This is beautiful.
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:53 am
Thank you so much, Susie.
brandic32
August 15, 2012 at 5:12 am
“all alone quietly drowning”
^^ beautiful, tragic, poignant
I can relate to your words. Sending you warmth.
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:54 am
And all the warmth in the world right back at’cha, love.
John (@bookdreamer)
August 15, 2012 at 9:39 am
Feelings turned into fine words
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:54 am
Thanks John.
ayala
August 15, 2012 at 11:48 am
Sad and beautiful !
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:55 am
Thank you; I always get a small kick when my poems are called beautiful.
RepressedSoul
August 15, 2012 at 12:32 pm
Seems we’re all having a similar month
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:55 am
It’s certainly one of those months!
Pat Hatt
August 15, 2012 at 1:32 pm
Hopefully air will come, wonderfully done.
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:56 am
Thank you Pat; I hope so. I really do. It’s always come in the past, so I know it will again. I just hate waiting.
Archna
August 15, 2012 at 3:24 pm
Beautiful. I love the moonlight and how the heart is emptied. And the darkness and the loose let go.
Thank you for your visit.
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:56 am
Thanks Archna! “Empty my heart to the stars” is my favourite line. It was the first I thought of, and I built the poem around it.
darkangelwrites
August 15, 2012 at 4:48 pm
“Open my heart to the stars” I really like that.
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:57 am
Thanks very much, darkangelwrites. I appreciate it.
darkangelwrites
August 16, 2012 at 2:59 am
I like the idea of the starry sky being my new confessional.
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 3:03 am
Over two years or so I wrote a series of poems all based around confessing to the stars; some are published on here, others are waiting as drafts. The sky listens better than anything else, I’ve found.
mimijk
August 15, 2012 at 5:39 pm
Keep your heart open to the stars and your face gorgeously open to their view…This will get better, this will get better…I believe that with all my heart..
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:58 am
I’m glad you have that belief; it’s a wonderful thing to have whether it’s towards yourself or another person. Thank you much mimijk, for all your sweet comments recently.
mimijk
August 16, 2012 at 9:55 am
Don’t thank me for caring about you – that’s easy…And yes, I do have that belief, and it’s yet to be wrong, so I’d say those are pretty good odds.
Some days all you have to do is breathe, dear one – just breathe. It is time to restore and then renew. But restore first..
booguloo
August 15, 2012 at 5:47 pm
Darkest poem I’ve read in a long time..Thanks for sharing.
booguloo
August 15, 2012 at 6:01 pm
Darkest poem I’ve read in a long time..Thanks for sharing. I see your circumstance and wish you well. I went though similar experiences and found that it goes away.
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 2:59 am
I find personally that it goes away and comes back again in waves. Sometimes they’re short; only small waves, knocking me over slightly but receding quickly. Others… they’re tsunamis. Impossible to escape and all I can do is sit under the waves and wait in the dark for the sea to slowly drain.
I suppose you understand that better than some. Thanks much for the comment.
Susan L Daniels
August 15, 2012 at 7:26 pm
Gorgeous. Dark, but beautiful. Thanks for sharing this, and hope you are OK.
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 3:00 am
Thanks Susan; I’m okay. Tired, but okay. This happens occasionally, and it’s something I’ve found just has to be ridden out.
Susan L Daniels
August 16, 2012 at 3:22 am
or written out… Been there, done that. Thank you for sharing this, it was truly beautiful.
gypsy116
August 15, 2012 at 8:36 pm
Reblogged this on Through my eyes: Adventures in Borderline land and commented:
I dont really have any words, just I love this, and once again, Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars has said just what Im thinking.
Hawkruh
August 15, 2012 at 10:49 pm
Despairing
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 3:00 am
I can’t think of a more suitable word.
Steve King
August 16, 2012 at 1:43 am
Something can be beautiful and chilling at the same time. And this is it. Very fine writing–and thanks for your comment on my poem earlier.
SK
halfwaybetweenT
August 16, 2012 at 3:01 am
No problem; I really like your work. Thank you very much for the compliment; I find them hard to accept, but they do get taken on board and I appreciate each one. My poetry is very personal… so it’s difficult to put it out there sometimes. Comments like yours inspire me to keep going.
tigerbrite
August 16, 2012 at 5:50 pm
Strong and beautiful poem. Love from Tigerbrite.
faithhopechocolate
August 16, 2012 at 7:41 pm
As everyone else has said, it’s beautiful. You really do have a way with words.
Don't let me get me
August 16, 2012 at 11:19 pm
Sorry if I missed it but who was the painting by?
patti
August 17, 2012 at 1:28 am
dark, but beautifully written!
gabrielle
August 17, 2012 at 5:52 am
“there’s rue for you, and here’s some for me; we may call it herb of grace o’Sundays; O, you must wear your rue with a difference”
This is Ophelia redefined.
She empties her heart to the stars, swims upstream like the salmon, keeps herself afloat with her long stemmed wisdom, even as she succumbs. A stunning write.
halfwaybetweenT
August 17, 2012 at 3:16 pm
Thank you so, so much for your comment Gabrielle. Ophelia redefined… I like that.
Jaen Wirefly
August 17, 2012 at 10:41 am
This poem is amazing! It probably came from a place of pain but sometimes pain does bring beauty.
halfwaybetweenT
August 17, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Thanks Jaen! It was a time of extreme sadness and pain, but I’m glad I wrote about it.
Mohana
August 18, 2012 at 3:15 am
Sad…but beautifully so.
oceanpoet
September 8, 2012 at 9:28 pm
Your honesty is refreshing… your pain screams through the words. Excellent. I applaud you for using your feelings to inspire others… others who truly care about you, and while the poem is poignant, I wish the pain would subside into peace, you deserve peace…