Not that I need proof.

28 Aug

3.30am. We were outside. Me sitting on a slightly damp mesh chair, S standing; smoking and drinking white wine.

S kissed me on the forehead.

Me: “If I had a problem, and felt weird talking to you about that problem, would that be silly?“.


So I told him. Confessed I’d lied last weekend about feeling ill, and in fact I was trying my best not to eat. Explained how it’s all about control and, haltingly, listed the reasons why I’m grabbing onto a past ED to cope.

He didn’t ask why.

He didn’t tell me to stop.

And he didn’t get angry.

He just kissed the top of my head and rubbed my shoulder.

“How are we going to fix this?”

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Posted by on August 28, 2012 in Every day life


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

31 responses to “Not that I need proof.

  1. Fred

    August 28, 2012 at 2:37 am

    I envy you. I was abandoned by someone I’d hoped would do the same for me but it was too much to take on in the end. Embrace that faith and love!

  2. judithatwood

    August 28, 2012 at 2:37 am

    I knew I loved that guy. A big love hug for both of you from Maine on a summer night!

  3. Zoe

    August 28, 2012 at 2:40 am

    wow what a gift!

  4. weordmyndum

    August 28, 2012 at 2:41 am

    That’s an amazing response. I’m glad you have someone so caring in your life.

  5. stuff I said

    August 28, 2012 at 2:47 am

    Hang on to S…he is for sure a keeper. xx

  6. Julie

    August 28, 2012 at 2:51 am

    I need a ‘love’ button. ‘Like’ isn’t nearly strong enough. You are both so lucky to have each other.

  7. blondefairy1975

    August 28, 2012 at 2:54 am

    I’m glad you have support. i was worried.

  8. Chirp and Flutter

    August 28, 2012 at 2:59 am

    I like him! :)

  9. brandic32

    August 28, 2012 at 3:24 am

    beautiful, amazing, wonderful, heartwarming. he sounds like a good egg to me xx

  10. April

    August 28, 2012 at 4:35 am

    That is so sweet. I am very happy for you.

  11. YAPCaB

    August 28, 2012 at 5:28 am


  12. thebirdieflies

    August 28, 2012 at 6:24 am

    That is so fucking sweet! :D

    I’m really happy you found the courage to talk to him and I’m glad he took it so nicely :D

  13. tersiaburger

    August 28, 2012 at 6:54 am

    I am grateful for this special person in your life.

  14. hypercryptical

    August 28, 2012 at 7:16 am

    First blog I have read this morning and what a wonderful way to start my day! So so glad that S is the person you knew he was. You are beautiful people you and S!

    Hugs and more hugs.

    Anna :o]

  15. Scigarra Dizuyo

    August 28, 2012 at 7:35 am

    Oh god. :’))

  16. DisplacedHousewife

    August 28, 2012 at 8:00 am

    Oh man, my heart just melted at that!

  17. The Bipolar Project

    August 28, 2012 at 8:15 am

    I haven’t been by in a while, but I am so pleased that this is the post I’ve been reacquainted to your blog with. You deserve it!

  18. Nataly

    August 28, 2012 at 8:45 am

    I’m so happy in my heart for you! That is the most supportive response I’ve ever heard to a confession of that kind. You are very blessed. Much love. xo.

  19. midlifeblogin

    August 28, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    Awesome! What a sweetheart this one is. He’s a keeper…. good for you!

  20. anxiouselephant

    August 28, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    That’s great! So glad he was understanding :)

  21. imaginemyworldperfect

    August 28, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    he’s lovely. :) I’m sure you already knew this.

  22. The Quiet Borderline (back in hospital)

    August 28, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    He’s really there for you. I think you can gain from his support and comfort.
    I wish you well.


  23. mimijk

    August 28, 2012 at 7:52 pm

    The perfect question…and I love that he used the word ‘we’…

  24. faithhopechocolate

    August 28, 2012 at 8:11 pm

    Bless him. He is definitely a gift to you from the Almighty (or whatever deity you chose to believe in). Xxx

  25. MindMindful

    August 28, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    What a wonderful, loving response. Blessings to you both…………

  26. ryoko861

    August 29, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    You’ve found a rare gem! Now I’m not looking into the future for you two to get married but just wondering….what an amazing father he’s going to be if it ever comes to that!

  27. lalalemzo

    August 29, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    He’s a keeper! <3 I'm glad you faced that, I knew you weren't comfortable. You're very strong indeed.

  28. Tallulah "Lulu" Stark

    August 30, 2012 at 3:01 pm

    Beautiful. That man has a beautiful soul.

  29. thepickledprincess

    September 7, 2012 at 6:19 pm

    What a wonderful man, so happy you have got someone close on your side lovely xx

  30. Emilino Emloile

    September 13, 2012 at 3:57 am

    I saw this and yelled, “Look, it’s Chricktopher Effleston!”
    as in, Christopher Eccleston. The Doctor.
    Do you watch Doctor Who? You should. It’s the best show on the planet.

    Great post :)


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