Sorry ever after – 2009

A victim to my every failing,
inner demons shape my life story,
a convenient lie,
something to hold on to,
but I haven’t changed

.
… nothing has changed.

.
I choose every word so carefully,
this construction
I never thought I could pull off,
and do those who point their fingers, really believe
that I could have changed?

.
… nothing has changed.

.

A cliché of the highest order,
I became everything I didn’t dare dream.
Predictable,
self critical,
this has never changed

.
… I couldn’t change.

.

I spin these lies,
build up my wall,
nobody will reach me and know where I’ve been.
Nobody will know I’m just a sad retelling,
a sorry-ever-after story

.
… and the ending never changed.

.

(c) 2009

.

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9 Comments

  1. Pingback: Sorry ever after – 2009 « Pdlyons's Weblog

  2. In 2009 life was complicated, we had decided to get divorced.. and now after a series of failed and rather short relationships I’m still failing to learn from all the mistakes I made before.. and only because I haven’t got far enough to make them.. I’m not sure if I’m not letting myself or I just don’t see the potential in people.. we don’t change really, it’s decided as children.. but we can make some mental adjustments, but they only go so far as often the natural behaviour of each and every one of us resurfaces and triggers that default setting.. you know the “oh shit, I’ve done it again”.. reaction.. I really don’t think we can be re-formatted like computers..

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