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There and back again

03 Apr

During my brief* flirtation with cognitive  behavioural therapy, I found my first stumbling block to be the advice I was given to follow when I’m having a panic attack:

“Remember, it won’t kill you“.

Really? Because that’s not how I felt last night.

Terrified Woman Screaming

Images.com/CORBIS

Of course, it all worked out fine. It always does. This is the frustration; I know nothing terrible is likely to happen, but still I obsess and panic until I can’t see straight. Throughout my life this has happened hundreds if not thousands of times, and while bad stuff undoubtedly does happen… has the world ended yet? No.

I’m sick of not being able to make sense of myself.

Talking of sick, the Tramadol made me vomit. Penance, I guess.

 

*one session. I’m amazed I lasted that long.

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7 Comments

Posted by on April 3, 2013 in Every day life

 

Tags: , , , ,

7 responses to “There and back again

  1. Kanerva

    April 3, 2013 at 9:38 am

    Sounds familiar. You’re not alone.

     
  2. OnX

    April 3, 2013 at 11:33 am

    I definitely get what you’re saying. Finding the right shrink takes time. You might want to give this one another go and tell him/her that repeating the obvious won’t help the situation.

    If it’s any comfort, I came about this close to having a panic attack Monday afternoon. I soothed myself by telling myself that I was about to have an attack and that it was probably because I was tired, didn’t have my meds and I could work the reality of my finances out when I felt better. I was freaking over money. Anyway, that helped. I did go lay down, but I didn’t really rest until that night.

    My point is, as I think the shrink was trying badly to say, reality will sometimes stave off the attack. The trick is to step outside yourself and objectively see the reality. That’s really the hard part. Good luck!

     
  3. Don't let me get me

    April 3, 2013 at 11:59 am

    I did CBT, went ok but yeh, know what you mean. Nice lay out of yer blog too, very nifty.

     
  4. prideinmadness

    April 3, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    I hear ya! CBT doesn’t work for me, at least not the book I tried to use. I feel like it wanted me to rush into some thinking I wasn’t ready for. I threw the book across the room.

     
  5. gypsy116

    April 3, 2013 at 9:47 pm

    Hugs dear. Something I find oddly validating, and reminds me of how strong I am/we are, we live with panic attacks, thats just what we do. Its awful, and you feel like youre going to die, but you deal with it the best you can and go on living, but when someone who doesnt deal with them regularly has a panic attack, its common for them to go into emergency, because they are literally afraid theyre going to die. Im sure that doesnt help. but…

     
  6. jatwood4

    April 4, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    Hello, dear. Much love from a sister who has been down a similar path. I have now had three instances of hallucinations, and each time, my doctor has addressed the problem with “But there isn’t anything there.” After the last time, I went back in and sat down with him and told him that simply telling me there wasn’t anything there only made me feel more angry than ever. I know your situation is different, but maybe the same principle might work — instead of listening to people saying the world won’t end, maybe you can give your feelings the respect they deserve, and then try telling yourself that you have seen this feeling pass before. I wouldn’t try to force any feelings to try and overshadow the ones you’re having — maybe if you recognize and honor those feelings, they will become a little more manageable. I hope these suggestions are helpful. Whether or not they work. please remember that you have made so many strides in the last year, and you don’t lose all that progress if you have a set back. Good luck, my friend.❤

     
  7. YAPCaB

    April 5, 2013 at 4:34 am

    I’ve found if I can get some cool air it helps enormously – opening the outside door in the winter and the frig in the summer. Anxiety/panic and heat seem to be tied in some manner, at least for me.

     

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