Tag Archives: us

Like Last Summer

Late July, last Summer
My shoes were going out of fashion
Living was easy, life was good for us
There was none of this -

Those hospital visits;
Crowded corridors, stale waiting rooms
Sleeping with the light
still on.

Summer turned to winter
And I stopped speaking to you
My mouth filled with empty, harmless words
Not quite lies, not quite truth
I couldn’t explain the nightmares.

I sat on benches
On crowded streets
Never feeling more alone,
never less complete.
The seasons carried on
and it seemed strangely unfair
I thought perhaps the world might
stop for us, for what we’d lost.

Still, life went on
Nothing changed,
Night still followed day
Life carried on making life
that cycle I could never be part of
That act I broke my heart over
That emptiness,
They just can’t understand.

Christmas, when I started
losing my hair
I lost all my faith
Still, I couldn’t tell you.

And now,
I no longer own my body
I didn’t ask for this
For this loss of control.

Those crowded corridors,
I walk them blindfolded now
Learning, at 21
That doctors don’t care
when they casually mention
those words.

Still a taboo -
as though it makes me less of a person.

I cut my hair
I told you, showed you
You didn’t seem surprised that I
was falling apart.

Late July, last Summer
We had no idea,

Last summer
…Before I went out of fashion.

(c) 2006.



Posted by on December 18, 2011 in Poetry


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I stand alone,
but not quite secluded,
in a comfortable peace I never knew I could feel.

I consider.

All that I could be
if I just tried harder.

Everything I used to be,
something I now regret.

Who I am,
and who I’ve let down.

I stand at the window,
a different place than it ever used to be,
something so wrong, turned so right.

5 minutes past midnight
with tiny lights above my head.

A long-empty bottle to remind me,
and a cigarette,
as always.

Forgive me.

My thoughts turn to you.

To us.

And the things which always
meant more.

Tiny lanterns hang in the sky,
despite it all.




Posted by on October 12, 2011 in Poetry


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