My oldest enemy

16 May

My old best friend, always under the surface
now stands beside me with a smile on their face,
my oldest enemy,
my lifelong ally,
I feel so much for you
but you feel nothing for me.
You don’t care when you tear me apart,
on those afternoons when you’re all
I can think of,
when my dreams are filled with nothing but you
and the control you gave
the promises you made
the body you betrayed.

I hate you, I love you
I need you, it disgusts me,
my reliance on you,
always one step away
you pull my strings once more.

I never let go,
my secret friend.

(c) 2008


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Posted by on May 16, 2012 in Poetry


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25 responses to “My oldest enemy

  1. zongrik

    May 16, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    secret friends are the best, we make them what we want them to be

    haiku and senryu about annoyances

    • halfwaybetweenthegutter

      May 16, 2012 at 5:46 pm

      Sometimes. Sometimes they’re the worst thing you can create. Thanks for the read, Zongrik.

  2. britneyana

    May 16, 2012 at 6:22 pm

    I’ve had these feelings recently.

  3. crayfish

    May 16, 2012 at 10:58 pm

    “my reliance on you, only one step away.”

    It sums up the feeling, escaping the unescapable.

  4. Prince Adrian

    May 17, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    Reblogged this on ..aDi..aDrian..iAn...

  5. terri0729

    May 17, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    Love, love, loved it!! Fabulous job :) hugs and blessings, Terri

  6. mairmusic

    May 17, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    are you writing of yourself? tough reflection here.

  7. SiNA

    May 18, 2012 at 9:47 am

    i really feel this…

  8. blueplatypus

    May 19, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    This resonates with me- I think a lot of us are our own worst enemy. You capture the emotions wonderfully.

    • halfwaybetweenthegutter

      May 21, 2012 at 11:40 am

      Thank you very much; being your own worst enemy can be such a difficult thing which I think we all experience at times. It’s whether you can grow out of it or not… I never grew out of it.

  9. ZQ

    May 19, 2012 at 10:58 pm

    Very nice piece. Thank you for the “sharing of your secret friend”.

  10. dsnake1

    May 20, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    it’s strange, isn’t it? sometimes your enemy turns out to be your ally, and your friend stabs you in the back. pretty confusing.

    • halfwaybetweenthegutter

      May 21, 2012 at 10:50 am

      The whole issue of enemies and allies is a very confusing one for me; I’m never quite sure which is which.

      Thanks for the read and comment, dsnake.

  11. jo

    May 22, 2012 at 8:35 pm

    What a great poem. I wrote this: long ago, but your poem took my right back to it. I’ve read a lot of your blog today (instead of working). I think in the real world, we could be friends. ;-)

    • halfwaybetweenthegutter

      May 23, 2012 at 1:03 pm

      It’s a beautiful poem; I’m glad I could remind you :)

      Perhaps we could be friends in the real world. You sound like a good person to know :) Haha, and I won’t apologise for stopping you working ;)

      • jo

        May 25, 2012 at 10:17 pm

        Thank you! I have a real world blog I just started if you want to check it out. I’m not sure what it will evolve to yet. :-).
        Anyway, just wanted to say hi! I’m going back to reading your words! Hugs

  12. Helena (Hey! Lena)

    May 24, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    I’ve had reliance on a secret friend often, myself. This personally spoke to me, reminded me of a certain time in my life. A lovely read!

    • halfwaybetweenthegutter

      May 24, 2012 at 9:30 pm

      Thanks for reading, Helena! I wonder if we all have secret friends we don’t own up to.

  13. jagring

    June 22, 2012 at 11:30 am

    Walking similar roads. Sipping in the joy and disgust of life.. :P ..!!


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