I never thought I could say that the Queen stopped me from making a coffee, but it seems the monarchy reaches further than Buckingham Palace. The drug squad officer who lives opposite me arranged a street party for the jubilee, and for reasons unknown he decided to hold it on a Tuesday; two days after the actual event. I slept badly last night, and waking up to a thousand watts of bad disco music wasn’t my idea of an ideal morning.
Perhaps I’m the commander of my own fate, but I refused to join in. My mother has escaped to my sister’s house, and I’m alone in my bedroom trying to watch E.R over the music and awful DJ, and wishing the neighbours would go elsewhere; I can’t walk through the living room without being seen and I don’t fancy being the subject of neighbourly gossip as I stumble past the window in snowflake pyjamas and with hair like a pile of orange candyfloss.
I’m restless today; although the weekend was as wonderful as always, a great big fibro-flare hit on Saturday night and I’ve hardly slept since. Hours of accidentally kicking S out of bed with leg spasms and needing neck rubs and help getting out of chairs has led to a bit of guilt. S is so good to me; he never complains, and part of me thinks that perhaps he doesn’t even mind having to help to me out… but I constantly worry about being a burden on others, and I worry more when it comes to S. I’m terrified of being a ‘bad’ girlfriend to him.
In the past… I’ve always been made to feel inferior in relationships. I’ve been partly to blame – I naturally set myself lower than others – but S is the only man who’s never made me feel like I’m asking for too much.
I’ve been going through a weird time recently. Not quite depressed, not quite content; something in between which I’m unsure how to deal with. Anxious and edgy, prone to overreacting to repetitive noises and conversations I don’t want to be a part of. I’ve tried to keep up a normal-ish routine, but I’ve missed a lot of comments and award nominations from readers. So I’m going to attempt a small catch-up.
I’ve been nominated for the Reader Appreciation Award by Another Battle, magically mad, NZ Cate, Sparrow, Hawkruh, and also the Beautiful Blogger award by eniola folarin. If I’ve missed anybody out, my sincere apologies; it took me 20 minutes to find all those. I really have to keep on top of things. I’ll follow the rules for the reader appreciation award:
1. Include the award logo somewhere in your blog.
2. Answer these 10 questions, below, for fun if you want to.
3. Nominate 10 to 12 blogs you enjoy. Or you pick the number.
4. Pay the love forward: Provide your nominee’s link in your post and comment on their blog to let them know they’ve been included and invited to participate.
5. Pay the love back with gratitude and a link to the blogger(s) who nominated you.
1. What is your favourite colour?
I don’t really have a favourite; I prefer shades than actual colours. Greens, purples and browns attract me the most.
2. What is your favourite animal?
Orcas, lemurs, sloths and, of course, cats. I have a fondness for frogs and snails too.
3. What is your favourite non-alcoholic drink?
Coffee. Lots of coffee. I’m not fussy as long as I can get some caffeine, but the stronger the better. I have a weakness for Nero’s mocha.
4. Facebook or Twitter?
Facebook. As much as I try I can’t get on with Twitter. I have an account (halfwaybetweenT) but rarely mage to log in successfully, and when I do I can’t keep up.
5. Favorite pattern?
Not a pattern as such, but I have a Rennie Macintosh rose tattooed on my back:
6. Do you prefer getting or giving presents?
It’s a cliché, but I love giving gifts. There’s few better feelings than somebody opening a present you’ve given.
7. Favorite number?
Strangely, seven. There’s no reason why; it just feels like a nice number.
8. Favorite day of the week?
Friday. Unlike most I don’t have to get through a working week, but the weekend means a lot to me. They’ve always been ‘mine’ – it’s the one time my mother doesn’t expect me to spend time at home. She still asks where I’m going – and it’s always to S’s – but I can live with that.
9. Favorite flower?
Fuchsia and chives.
10. What is your passion?
The following blogs are about different subjects, but all fantastic. I’ve picked these bloggers because of their honesty and ability to express emotions and situations in ways I can only hope to.
Apologies for the long post; it’s given me something to do while the false festivities assault me from outside.